May 2009

I’m sure you’ve heard the old story about the man who dropped his keys in the parking lot, and then went looking for them in the street “because there’s better light there”.

That guy might be very efficient at searching the ground around the streetlights quickly. But it won’t help him find the keys.

Similarly, we all sometimes get so caught up in doing something that we completely forget the reason why we’re doing it. You might be the best in the world at knitting socks for orangutans, but you just won’t make much of an impact that way. (If anything, at least knit gloves for them ;) .)

That’s where the weekly review comes in!

What’s a weekly review

Take one day off each week, and spend it thinking about the big picture stuff. Make sure you’re looking for your keys where you dropped them, instead of where there’s the most light.

Figure out what’s important, not just urgent.

Returning a library book on time or finishing that homework? Probably not that important in the long term. Trying that new hobby, talking to new people, trying a crazy experiment? Potentially very important.

Get the important stuff in. For time-independent tasks, schedule them early in the week, to make sure you get them done.

It’s surprisingly easy to get stuck in the rat race, constantly being busy, never pausing to think what impact you’re making.

Perspective rocks (but not all the time)

A weekly review lets you pull back and consider your weekly actions in perspective.

Sure, it’s nice to just stick your nose to the grindstone and get working. You don’t want to be worrying about big-picture consequences all the time. But you don’t want to get stuck in that state all the time, because you might very well end up being busy but not effective.

That’s why I like to-do lists.

When I generate my to-do list, I’m firmly in big-picture thinking mode. Then, during the day, when I’m knocking tasks off the list, I can let myself slide into nose-to-grindstone ground-level thinking. And I don’t need to worry, because I know I’m going to accomplish all the important stuff.

That’s also why I never add tasks to a to-do list, even if I finish early for the day. Because it lets me just relax and feel good about doing nothing for the rest of the day. It really cuts down on low-level background stress.

You won’t believe it if you haven’t tried it.

(Mind you, if I think of a good action I’d like to take, I write it down somewhere. I just don’t put it on my must-definitely-accomplish-today list.)

How to organize a weekly review

Take a day off each week, and spend it just thinking. Sunday works great for me.

It might sound crazy to take one day off a week. Hey, that’s one day’s productivity wasted, right?

Wrong.

The day you take off and spend thinking about big-picture strategies will make you SO much more productive! It’s like you take one day off, and add three, in the productivity gains you achieve in the other 6 days. (Plus it’s fun to spend a whole day thinking too!)

Think about the following things:

  • your long-term goals and dreams
  • the most important things going on in your life right now
  • review your values, and make sure your actions align with them
  • only THEN consider specific “most important tasks” you want to accomplish in the week ahead

And that’s all there is to a weekly review.

Other people who swear by the weekly review include Scott H. Young, Leo Babauta and David Allen (the author of Getting Things Done). They use slight variations, but all the versions boil down to taking time off and considering the big picture of your life.

Try it just once, and you’ll be a convert forever.

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Using the Hawthorne Effect for Effortless Change

by Vlad Dolezal on May 26, 2009

I’d like to point out you’re breathing consciously now. Noticing the expanding and shrinking of your chest as you breathe in and out.

Just keep observing. Simply notice your breathing pattern. For a few more breaths…

Now, believe it or not, I can virtually guarantee you that just by observing your breathing, you started breathing more deeply and fully.

That’s the Hawthorne Effect – when you subconsciously change your behavior as a result of being monitored.

Using the Hawthorne Effect

In 1955, Henry A. Landsberger In 1928, Elton Mayo tried measuring the effect of lighting levels on the productivity of Hawthorne factory workers. He formed three groups. One with increased lighting levels, one with decreased lighting, and a control group with unchanged lighting.

As expected, the group with increased lighting experienced a measurable increase in productivity. But lo and behold… the increase in productivity was matched almost equally by the other two groups! The single biggest factor influencing the workers’ productivity was that someone paid attention to their efforts.

You can easily use this to encourage positive behaviors in a friend or colleague. Just let them know you’re noticing.

But watch out! Don’t praise them – they would usually perceive that as you beingĀ  condescending or trying to control them. Instead, neutrally report what you’re noticing. Like “I noticed that you are …”. No judgment. Just plain facts.

This lets the person believe they’re fully in control, and makes the Hawthorne Effect kick in the strongest!

Using the Hawthorne Effect for Yourself

But while helping others is nice, wouldn’t it be great to use the Hawthorne effect for yourself?

Of course it would :D

And it’s so easy! Just like focusing on your breathing makes you breathe more deeply and fully, without any conscious effort.

Simply start recording some behavior you want to improve. (My two favorites are spending and eating habits.) And my favorite way to do that is a 30-day trial:

For thirty days straight, record exactly how much you spend and what you spend it on. Not only will you become more aware of what you’re spending money on, and where you could make improvements… You will automatically use your money more wisely! All hail the Hawthorne Effect!

And that’s all. It’s that simple. Just start recording, and watch yourself effortlessly change your behavior for the better.

Have a great day!

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Freedom! I Declare Uncopyright.

by Vlad Dolezal on May 23, 2009

Following Leo Babauta‘s example, I hereby release copyright on all my writing on Fun Life Development. Do whatever you want with my writing.

More specifically, everything here is now under the WTF public license. I was tempted to use Creative Commons, but the WTFPL just has that little something:

"0. You just DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO."

Simplicity for the win! :D

In practical terms, this means:

  • you can translate my articles into another language without asking permission (I’ve had a few requests for that)
  • you can steal all my content, claim you wrote it, sell it in an e-book, and make a crapton of money
  • just do WTF you want to with my content

Why Uncopyright

If you’ve read approximately… ummm… at least 1 of my posts, you’ll know I’m a fan of Linux. And a big part of the Linux philosophy is sharing.

I’m writing Fun Life Development to help you. I want the information to reach as many people as possible, and copyright is something designed for the exact opposite purpose.

If I uncopyright my work, and someone steals it and uses it for the benefit of their own readers, great! Those are readers I probably wouldn’t have reached anyway. And who knows, I might even get a link back and some credit.

I could go on, but if you want to know more, just read Leo Babauta’s reasons for uncopyrighting.

###

My posts on other blogs:

To give you something to read today too, I’ll point out two blog posts I recently got published on other blogs:

5 Simple Ways to Increase Your Peace of Mind published at the Positivity Blog. It’s exactly what you think it is based on the title :)

The Ultimate Motivation Hack – where I explain my method of having fun with everything. Trust me, you’ll like this post.

Okay, that’s it. See you soon!

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3 Foolproof Ways to Skyrocket Your Charisma

by Vlad Dolezal on May 20, 2009

“Mr. Gladstone made me feel that he was the cleverest man in England. But Mr. Disraeli… he made me feel that I was the cleverest woman in England.”
- Mrs. Nash, explaining her impressions of two English statesmen

So you want to be more charismatic?

If you’re feeling impatient, you can just skip to the second half of this article, and read the three specific tips.

Or you can continue reading linearly, and understand much deeper exactly what charisma IS, and what’s the right approach to improving it.

Pick your favorite approach.

There’s no magic charisma pill

First off, some bad news. There is no magic 5-minute solution to becoming the totally most charismatic person ever.

I would love to tell you the answer is smiling more, or mirroring others, or some other quick-fix technique. But it’s not. Trust me, I’ve tried them all, and while they may fool others for a few minutes, they don’t work in the long term.

(It’s especially funny when you try something like mirroring and the other person catches you :D )

Charisma isn’t one single technique or gimmick. But the good news is… you CAN develop it! And in a moment, I’ll explain why you’re closer than you might think.

The right way to approach charisma

A lot of people can’t figure out charisma simply because they look at it from the wrong angle. They think that charisma must be an outside thing, like a mannerism, a way of speaking, or a way of dressing.

Charisma IS all of those things, but you can’t build your charisma by copying the outside mannerisms. That’s like trying to learn to draw by copying a famous artist’s drawing line-by-line.

Instead, focus on the inside. Charisma is your inside shining through to the outside.

It’s the hundreds of subconscious muscle twitches and mannerisms. You can’t fake those no matter how hard you try. And while they’re subconscious, we can all feel them. That’s why “There’s just something about a charismatic person.”

The right way of approaching charisma is to figure out the inner game of charismatic people, and emulate it. And I’ll save you the years it would take you to figure out the most important bits, and sum them up into 3 bullet points. Aww, aren’t I nice ;)

(Plus, since you’re reading Fun Life Development, you’re already ahead of 90% of the population. You want to consciously improve and grow, and personal development is exactly what will help you become more charismatic. Congrats!)

How to build charisma

Here are 3 foolproof ways to skyrocket your charisma:

1. Have a vision

There are a lot more followers than leaders. There’s nothing inherently wrong with following – some days I lead, and some days I follow. But people are naturally drawn to leaders.

So have a sense of purpose. A vision. A big goal you’re working towards. Your vision might change over time, but if you always have one, people will naturally feel drawn to you, because you will be filling a void in their lives.

2. Love yourself

If you don’t even like yourself, how do you expect others to like you? You are constantly giving others hundreds of little subconscious clues on how to treat you. And it all begins with treating yourself right.

Realize you are a unique and valuable human being. Accept yourself as you are. It’s okay to have flaws and work on improving them. We all have flaws. It’s okay to make mistakes. We all make mistakes.

Have the right intentions, love yourself, and you will hugely boost your charisma.

3. Be honestly interested in others

Have you ever met one of those people who incessantly talk about themselves? At first they might seem like an interesting conversationalist… but soon you’ll start to feel they’re talking at you rather than to you.

Charismatic people have discovered that other people are inherently interesting. If you listen to others, you will learn new interesting things, rather than hearing the same thing you have said 10 times before. And others will like you, because you will make them feel important.

Don’t pretend, though. Really develop the mindset of honestly being interested in others. Because you know what? Other people ARE interesting!

And that’s it. Enjoy building your charisma!

{ 6 comments }

How to Be Remarkable

by Vlad Dolezal on May 16, 2009

Have you ever wondered what makes people remarkable?

People like Aaron Stanton, who had a great business idea, but after years of trying, he couldn’t get Google to listen to him. They wouldn’t even HEAR about his idea! So he decided to take drastic measures:

“In just three days, I will be getting on a plane to California. There, I will go to Google’s headquarters, and I will sit in the lobby until somebody hears me out.”

Within days, he had thousands of people online following every step of his journey. And he got his meeting with Google.

What is “being remarkable”?

Being remarkable means being worth remarking. In other words, worth talking about.

When you do something that a lot of people talk about, congratulations! You are now remarkable. Now let’s figure out how to do it!

The right kind of remarkability

In our deepest hearts, we all want to be important. And more often than not, that means being remarkable – having people talk about us, inspiring masses, being famous.

Some people go about it the wrong way. They manage to achieve fame by recording videos of themselves doing stupid things. Umm, great… but what then? They get their 5-minute flash of fame, and when that burns out, they’re left with just ashes.

But there is another category of remarkable people. People who don’t just do it for the fame, but because they have a great idea they believe in.

Like the guy who went and gave everything he owned away, keeping only $100 in cash, and moving to a town where he didn’t know anyone. He did this because he believed anybody can get themselves out of poverty, if they really want to. He decided to put his beliefs through the ultimate trial by fire – by doing it himself.

He managed to get out of poverty in just under two years. (And then he went and said “Of course this doesn’t prove anything. I’m young, healthy, and white.”)

These people have one thing in common. They have something they deeply believe in, and take inspiring action to do something about it.

How to be remarkable

You too can be remarkable. It’s not that hard.

Granted, you won’t turn into an Oprah overnight. But getting started on your journey to being remarkable is surprisingly easy. Here is the core approach:

1. Decide on your message

There’s something you believe in that you want to let more people know about. I know that for a fact. Just take some time to think about it, and decide on one message you want to promote right now.

It might be using Linux. It might be vegetarianism. Or the therapeutic benefits of sea-turtle herding. Whatever.

(I recently re-named my blog to Fun Life Development, because I finally (after about 17 months :p) decided what my core message is. A light-hearted look at Personal Development, without losing any of the effectiveness. Life is fun!)

2. Think of a simple way to spread the message to more people

If you want to spread Linux, all you have to do is buy some blank CDs and a permanent marker, burn a couple of copies your favorite distribution, and start handing them out to people.

Or, if you can get together a few friends, you could set up a small temporary stall, along the lines of “get informed”. Use a laptop to demonstrate the latest Compiz goodness. Get passerbies interested. (I’m pretty sure passerbies is not a word, but hey :) )

It doesn’t take a lot. Yes, your first steps might not be very remarkable. That’s ok. You won’t go from Neil Nobody to Chris Guillebeau overnight. The important bit is taking action early, and taking it often.

3. Take action!

’nuff said.

Here are a few quick tips to get you started:

  • start a blog
  • find like-minded people in your area, and form a mastermind group
  • contact people who are already spreading a similar message, and team up with them or ask for advice
  • get started TODAY

And that’s it. Stop reading about being remarkable, and start doing!

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My Real-World “Yes Man” Experiment

by Vlad Dolezal on May 13, 2009

Who says real life isn’t like movies…

Have you seen the movie “Yes Man”?

In the movie, Jim Carrey plays a sad lonely bank worker, who sticks within his comfort zones and rejects any novelty. He basically says “no” to everything, and even misses his best friend’s engagement party.

Then a friend from his past suddenly turns up, and drags him to a motivational seminar. The seminar’s speaker grabs Jim Carrey, shakes him up, forces him to take a good long look at his life, and convinces him to say “Yes!” to every request and opportunity. It leads to… well I won’t spoil it for you, in case you haven’t seen the movie ;)

So I decided to do my own “Yes Man” experiment. For a week, I would say “Yes!” to every request.

I did it because I thought it would be fun. And I was absolutely right. But it turned out to be a lot more than just fun…

My week of saying “Yes!”

On Monday afternoon, I was working on a presentation with a few fellow math geeks that was due for Tuesday.

Since it was a bank holiday, the maths department was closed. But as we were walking past the entrance, we saw some guy get in with a key. After a moment’s hesitation, I decided to say “Yes!” to the opportunity, called after him, and asked him to let us in. After a moment’s negotiation, he agreed. (Victory for saying Yes :D )

As we stayed there, long into the night, a friend mentioned he’d like to do a Eurotrip in the summer. I think that’s a brilliant idea, so we got talking about it, and we might do it together this summer. Yet we probably never would have talked about it if we didn’t sneak into the math department and stay there all day.

Of course, Monday was just the beginning. The really crazy stuff started on Tuesday…

On Tuesday, I went to a dance show, because some of my breakdancer friends asked me to, and I decided to say “Yes!” to the request. I didn’t know what the show was going to be like. It turned out to be a huge 3-hour show of all the dance-related societies at the university, and it was absolutely awesome!

That alone would have been worth saying “Yes!”.

But that’s not the end of it. Because I went to the dance show, I met a friend of a friend (whom I’ve met once before) in the queue. We got chatting and had a fun time at the dance show.

Then, out of the blue, she calls me on Thursday morning (I didn’t even give her my phone number), asking me if I can come along to a photoshoot. Appranently, a friend of hers was doing some arts project.

I was feeling tired and lazy that morning, so I automatically said “no”. I put down the phone, and then realized what I had just done. I spent about 10 minutes struggling with myself, torn between facing that I said “no”, and calling her back, looking stupid, and telling her I actually DO have time to do the photoshoot.

In the end, saying “Yes!” won, so I called her back. The photoshoot turned out to be a quick half-hour, and great fun! And I talked to one of the photographers, and he agreed to meet up sometime and do a free photoshoot of me for my blog’s new header image. (University life is awesome. There’s so many hobbyists willing to do great-quality work for free!)

So coming to a dance show resulted in getting in touch with a photographer for my blog’s header image. It’s like the scene from Yes Man where Jim Carrey finally makes use of his guitar lessons. Completely, utterly unrelated and unexpected. 2 Cuils.

(Maybe Cuil was ahead of its time, and actually models reality more accurately than any other search engine :p )

Another thing happened that was completely insignificant, but quite fun!

I was walking on campus, and a girl tried to hand me some flyer. Per reflex, I just said no and kept walking. After 100 metres, I realized what just happened. I stopped dead in the middle of a frequented walk, and just stood there for about 2 minutes, torn between going back, asking for the flyer, and looking stupid… or breaking my covenant and saying “no”.

So I walked back, said “On second thought, give me one”, grabbed a flyer out of her hand, turned around and walked away. The flyer turned out to be useless to me (advertising some communist seminar in the summer. Unfortunately, I’ll be on holiday in a different country at the time), but walking back and asking for it was was tons of fun :D

There was one other completely unexpected way my “Yes Man” experiment affected my life.

I’m on next year’s committee for the Enterprise Society, and I was invited to a posh dinner on Thursday with some university officials. At first I was hesitating about going, because Thursday evening was pretty much the only chance I had all week to get some exercise (volleyball training).

But I decided to say “Yes!” to the dinner, and instead get my exercise by jogging every morning.

I’ve only missed one morning since. Jogging turns out to be surprisingly pleasant! Yet I never would have tried it if I didn’t fill up my schedule by saying “Yes!” to the dinner.

Saying “Yes!” is DEFINITELY worth it!

So, in a single week of saying “Yes!”, I managed to:

  • find friends to potentially do a Eurotrip with
  • get in touch with a skilled photographer
  • develop the habit of jogging every morning
  • have TONS of fun :D

And that was just a single week! Imagine how much can happen if you say “Yes!” to the hundreds of little opportunities you encounter every day.

Saying “Yes!” can utterly transform your life, often in completely mysterious ways. I had no idea going to a dance show would lead to meeting a photographer. Jim Carrey’s character had no idea what learning to play the guitar would lead to.

It seems like blind luck. But it happens far too often to be a co-incidence. There’s just something about saying “Yes!” that can completely turn your life around.

Don’t take my word for it. Try it yourself!

(Update: Several readers pointed out “Yes Man” was actually based on a real story. So it seems like I did a real-world experiment based on a movie based on a real-world experiment. Oh well :) )

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Why Procrastination Sucks (explained in pictures)

by Vlad Dolezal on May 9, 2009

I get a lot of questions from people saying “But is procrastination really that bad?”

Yes, it is. And today, I’m going to explain why, using pictures.

What is procrastination

First let’s clear up some confusion about procrastination. Would you consider sleeping at night procrastination?

No? Then there’s no reason why you should consider having fun, or going out with friends procrastination either. They’re all natural parts of being human, and we need them to lead happy healthy lives.

As Benjamin Franklin said:

An ideal day consists of 8 hours work, 8 hours play, and 8 hours rest.

And that’s where the problem comes in. Procrastination is neither productive, nor fun, nor restful.

I mean, would you spend hours on facebook, checking your e-mails, and browsing news sites if you didn’t feel that you had to be doing something? Of course not! You might spend half an hour on them, but then you’d turn off the computer and go have some REAL fun instead!

Procrastination happens when you feel that you should be working… but you only confuse being busy with being productive. The fact is, taking a break, and having some fun with friends is often more productive than just sitting around! Sure, it doesn’t feel like work, but that’s a good thing!

Why procrastination sucks

For the purpose of this article, I decided to lump play and rest into the same category, calling it “Fun & Rest”. Here’s what an average person’s day might look like:

procrastination1_rightsized1

See the problem? Procrastination is not only unproductive. It also seriously eats away at your Fun & Rest time.

Ideally, you’d get rid of procrastination, and spend all your time either on Work, or Fun & Rest. When you’d start getting tired, you would take a break, instead of trying to push through it, and ending up spending two hours being busy without accomplishing anything.

In short, your day would look like this:

procrastination2_rightsized1

Now that’s a lot more fun, isn’t it? ;)

What to do about procrastination

So what to do? Most importantly, first recognize that you’re procrastinating. If in doubt, ask the following two questions:

  1. Am I being productive?
  2. Do I really want to be doing this?

If you’re not sure about the second question, take a short break, just 1 or 2 minutes. Often you need to break your current state to see that you’re really just stuck in mindless web-browsing mode, or similar.

If you are procrastinating, just stop, and go do something completely unrelated. Because fun and rest are much better ways of spending your time than procrastination. Every single time.

Have fun!

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About three weeks ago, I was talking to one of my friends. The talk turned to study habits, and I found out he always leaves things until the last moment.

“I’m pretty busy right now, because I have a large project to finish in two weeks.”
“How long did you have to do the project?”
“Plenty of time, but I always leave things until the last moment. I don’t know why.”

We talked a little bit more, and I found out:

  • he likes working under pressure
  • he always leaves big projects until the last moment
  • he always gets them done, and gets them done well

Now here’s a perfect example of someone for whom leaving thing until the last moment is the right choice. Yet when I talked to him, he was clearly feeling guilty for always leaving things until the last moment.

I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him.

Why leaving things until the last moment isn’t always a bad thing

You’ve probably seen me talk about the difference about being busy and being productive. If you haven’t seen the video, you can watch it here.

As I explain in the video, a lot of people confuse being busy with being productive. Yet the distinction is pretty simple once you wrap your mind around it:

  • being busy means doing stuff
  • being productive means getting stuff done

All things being equal, which would you prefer… getting something done in 5 hours, or getting it done in 1 hour?

Right. And that’s exactly where leaving things until the last moment comes in.

If you can get something done in the last two weeks before the deadline, and get it done well, there is no reason why you should spend time “working” on it over six weeks.

It makes much more sense to get the work done in two weeks, and spend the other four enjoying other areas of your life, or working on new fun projects.

And that’s what I told my friend. There’s absolutely no reason why you should feel guilty if leaving things until the last moment lets you be productive. So don’t listen to people stuck in the traditional “busy=productive” mode of thinking. If leaving something until the last moment lets you be more productive, you’re being smart, not lazy.

A word of caution

There’s one thing to watch out for though.

Your mind is an amazing device. It lets you keep track of thousands of sensory inputs every minute, and still stay sane. Unfortunately, sometimes it turns against your best interests.

And one way that happens is rationalizing your decisions. Sometimes you make a decision based on a flood of emotions, and then later make up rational reasons. What could happen here is that you decide to put things off because you don’t feel like doing them, and then rationalize by thinking “Hey, Vlad said it’s ok to put things off!”

Don’t let that happen. Remember the main point, – leaving things until the last moment is good if it lets you be more productive.

In other words, it’s ok if it saves you time. However, leaving things until later will often only cost you MORE time (and more stress), in which case do them immediately!

And that’s all. You don’t need to feel bad about leaving things until the last moment anymore. Enjoy!

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How to Stay Focused in the Face of Distractions

by Vlad Dolezal on May 2, 2009

I originally recorded this video for an e-mail newsletter for students I put together. But I’m sure you can see how the advice applies to your life too.

The main lesson from the video is this: There is a difference between being busy, and being productive. Set your goals in terms of being productive. Figure out exactly what you want to achieve, and focus on that, instead of focusing on “studying” or “doing work”.

This one simple tip can slash several hours of unproductive “work” from your schedule each week.

(If you’re reading this in your RSS reader and can’t see the video, click through to the blog and watch it there.)

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