August 2009

A Good Museum Day Morning

by Vlad Dolezal on August 31, 2009

John P. Strelecky, author of The Big 5 For Life (a great book about leadership, by the way), tells how he met Thomas Derale:

He was waiting for an early morning train, and he and Thomas were the only people on the platform. Thomas broke the silence with “Is this a good museum day morning?”. John Strelecky just replied something non-commital like “ummm… sure.”.

But the question kept bugging him for the rest of that week. And when he met Thomas again a week later, he asked him what he meant. And Thomas explained his museum day theory:

“The average life span of a person in the United States is around 75 years or 28, 200 days. Some people live longer, others not as long. While visiting a museum one day, I noticed the history of the town through the pictures of the people, with stories of what they had done, and the important events in their history.

“That’s when I thought – ‘What if every day of our life was cataloged? The way we felt, the people we saw, how we spent our time. And at the end of our life a museum was built. It was built to show exactly how we lived our life.’

“So if you spent most of your life at a job you hated, it would show that. If you spent most of your time unhappy, there would be pictures and quotes and little video moments where people could pick scenes of different unhappy moments. Of course if you were friendly, or angry most of the time, your scenes would reflect those moments. Your legacy and how people viewed it would all depend on how you lived day to day.”

Imagine being a tour guide in your museum, taking people around to listen to the audio, view the videos and see the pictures that captured how you lived. How would you feel about how you are being remembered?

The little everyday moments add up. Before you know it, you’ve spent 10 years mostly angry/curious/excited, whichever is your habitual pattern of thought.

So, are your habits leading you to interesting museum days? Will tomorrow be a good museum day morning?

That’s only up to you to decide.

###

Update about my blog:

Yea, I know I promised to post at least once a week. Unfortunately, I came down with infectious mononucleosis (an eeevil virus). It’s also leaving me a bit weak over the next month, so I won’t get a chance to try switching to polyphasic sleep.

Oh well. Maybe next year.

{ 9 comments }

Evil Words to Avoid

by Vlad Dolezal on August 15, 2009

Thomas A. Edison was interviewed by a newspaper after 800 unsuccessful tries to make a working light bulb.

“How does it feel to have failed 800 times?” the reporter asked.

And Edison’s answer?

“I haven’t failed 800 times. I haven’t failed once. What I have done, is I have succeeded in proving that those 800 ways won’t work. Once I eliminate all the ways that won’t work, I will find the one way that will.”

Several years later, after thousands more “successful proofs” he managed to find a way that works, and thus illuminated the world.

Sure, Edison is an extreme example. But the small words you use every day really DO matter! Such a simple word as “failure” can drain your enthusiasm, scare you from trying new things, and thus deprive the world of your gifts.

Words are extremely powerful because they create frames around situations. If you call something a “problem” it immediately makes you anxious, nervous and slightly annoyed. If you call it a “challenge”, it makes you excited and in a fun mood.

So today, I’ll point out some of the most common evil words, and some empowering alternatives to replace them.

1. Failure

So you didn’t get what you were shooting for. Big deal. You can learn and shoot again and again, until you achieve your goal. Like Edison and his 800 “successful proofs”.

As Tony Robbins says:

“As long as I keep learning, every outcome is a success. I will only have failed the moment I stop learning.”

On top of that, “failure” is especially evil, because you can easily extrapolate from it. Instead of thinking “I failed at this task”, you can slip to thinking “I am a failure”. Then, suddenly, a whole new negative belief tacks itself onto your self-image, and starts affecting everything else you do. Uh-oh, not good.

So what’s the alternative? Just call it a learning opportunity.

2. Problem

Is your life full of problems? Do your co-workers keep bringing you new problems you have to deal with? Is your romantic life full of problems?

Just replace them with challenges. Or, if you want to drive the point home to your subconscious, exciting challenges.

So now whenever your boss drops an extra assingment on your desk, it’s no longer a problem. It’s an exciting challenge :D

Does this seem too trivial to make a difference? After all, it’s still the same assignment.


It might seem strange and stupid to be simply using different words for the same things… but after a few days, you will notice a big difference in how you feel about all the things you re-named. And because reality is 100% subjective… how you feel about something IS that something. In other words… while objectively it’s still the same thing, you feel differently about it, and therefore it IS different. Because your reality is 100% yours.

I’ve gone all metaphysical on you, haven’t I? :) Let’s move on…

3. Have to / Need to

I learned about these two from Tim Brownson’s article Mind your Language, which also inspired me to write this article. So, thanks Tim!

These two phrases create lose/lose situations, because when you tell yourself you “have to” do something, you put pressure and stress on yourself. Then you either do it, and feel bad because you were forced to, or you don’t do it, and feel bad because of that. Lose/lose.

Instead, use want to or love to. Suddenly, when you “want to” do things instead of “having to” do them, you feel much more positive and enthusiastic about them!

In fact, I took this tip further… instead of writing “to-do” lists (which sounds a bit too much like “have-to-do lists”), I now call them “want-to-do lists”.

It sounds crazy, but even when I write the exact same tasks, adding that extra word on top of the sheet of paper makes me feel more positive about them, and more likely to get them done. Spooky :)

4. Should

We’re drawing to the finish. This last word is really evil not by itself, but because it points out a disempowering way of thinking.

Consider these phrases:

  • It shouldn’t be raining now. They said it wouldn’t be raining!
  • I should’ve got the promotion instead of Jack!
  • People should be nicer to each other.

Notice something? In each of those cases, you’re suffering – trying to control the uncontrollable. You don’t control the weather. You don’t control other people. Wishing that things were different only leaves you frustrated, drains your energy, and doesn’t accomplish anything.

So what do you do about this word? Simple. Drop it. Stop that way of thinking. If something isn’t the way you would like to, either do something to influence it, or don’t worry about it. Now that you’re aware of the signpost (using the word “should”), it will be easy to overcome that way of thinking. What an… exciting challenge!

Do you have any evil words of your own you replaced with empowering alternatives? Please share them in the comments!

{ 12 comments }

How to Feel Passionately Alive Every Single Day

by Vlad Dolezal on August 9, 2009

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
- Howard Truman

A first year student of medicine was walking to his first lecture. He saw an old man who looked at least 70 years old entering the same lecture theatre.

“Wow, what luck, we probably got the oldest lecturer on campus.” he thought.

When he entered and the lecture started, he was even more surprised to see the old man sitting in the audience with the rest of the students, also taking notes. At the end of the lecture, he caught up with the old man, and asked him:

“My man, excuse me but you look at least 70 years old, what are you doing in the audience?”

“I’m 78 actually. And ever since I was a small kid, I’ve dreamt of being a doctor. Last year, after my wife passed away, God bless her soul, I have finally decided to follow my dreams.”

“But… by the time you finish here, you will be… 83 years old!”

“Son, I’ll be 83 whether I follow my dreams or not.”

…

You don’t need to wait until you’re 78 to follow your dreams. In fact, you don’t even need to wait until tomorrow.

Living your dreams is just about making choices. About making the right (though often tough) decisions. And today, I’ll give you a few very simple (though surprisingly effective) pointers on how to do that.

The most useful question in the universe

I’ve lost count of how many books I’ve read about being happy and successful. They all have different bits of advice, like…

Eat more fruit. Get at least 30 minutes of exercise daily. Make a daily to-do list. Focus on what’s important. Life is about the people, not about the things. Look both ways before crossing the street…

And they all have some merit. But I’ve found that by far the most effective method to figure out what to do every day is… just asking yourself the following question about every action you’re about to take:

Will this make me feel more alive?

When I started applying this, I noticed a pattern. I spent most of my time doing things that made me feel LESS alive, not more. Like:

  • browsing digg, reddit, or slashdot aimlessly
  • spending hours watching youtube videos
  • watching episode after episode of some TV series

It’s weird once you think about it, but most of our entertainment does exactly that. It’s designed to take you out of your head, suck you into a different world, and hold you there for as long as possible.

It makes you less energized. Less aware of your body and mind, and more like a mindless drone. Put simply, it makes you less alive.

Does that suck? Hell, yes!

So I slowly started replacing the mind-numbing life-depleting activies with more fun and interesting stuff.

And every time I’m faced with a tough decision, I remember that one question: Will this make me feel more alive? Because even if I approach an attractive girl and she shoots me down with a nasty remark, it’s worth it, because I will feel more alive than if I just sit in a corner. Even if I stand up to sign karaoke and everybody boos and starts throwing rotten tomatoes, I feel more alive than just standing by the sidelines. (By the way, neither of those things ever happened to me.)

This thinking helped me go out giving free hugs. It helps me meet new interesting people every week. It helps me find new fun and interesting activities to replace the old boring ones.

And you can do the same. Just ask the one simple question. Will an action make you feel more alive?

Your “makes-me-feel-alive” list

Here’s a quick method to help you spend more time on activities that make you feel alive. Grab a sheet of paper. If you don’t have one handy, go get it – I can wait.

Now just write down all the activities that make you feel the most alive. The most passionate and in the moment. For example, on my list, I have about a dozen items, including:

  • playing the piano
  • juggling with a friend
  • rock-climbing
  • public speaking

Go ahead, just make the list. Then spend some time thinking how you can do more of these activities.

For example, when I first wrote my list, I realized I hadn’t done rock-climbing in months, even though I absolutely love it. So I talked to a bunch of friends, found someone interested in coming along, found the nearest rock-climbing place, and off we went!

Use your “makes-me-feel-alive” list to figure out what you want to be doing. Then it’s about the next step…

Having time is all about saying no

The yogis use a great analogy in their breathing exercises. When you breathe normally, your lungs are like a bottle that slowly gets filled with dirty, stale water. And before you can put fresh, clean water in there, you need to thouroughly empty the old, stale water.

Similarly, if your schedule is anything like mine was some months back, it’s like a bottle of dirty stale water. And before you can fit in all the fun, exciting fresh water, you have to say no to the old stale water like TV, browsing mind-numbing humour websites, etc.

Sounds simple? It is. It’s not easy, but it IS simple.

All the step-by-step how-to of this is beyond the scope of this article. But if you’re really interested in how to say no to all the mind-numbing life-draining activities (also called procrastination), check out my free e-mail course 7 Days to Lasting Personal Growth.

And of course a great day starts with a great morning, so if you haven’t yet, read my article Kickstart Your Day – How to Wake up Excited and Full of Energy.

Have a great passion-filled day!

###

Free hugs in Brussels

I’ll be doing a free hugs day in Brussels with some friends. So if you are in Brussels, and are up for giving out free hugs… give me a shout! We’ll probably be doing it a week or two from now (17th to 23rd August).

{ 9 comments }

Forget Life Balance – why short-term obsessions are key to long-term balance

by Vlad Dolezal on August 1, 2009

Have you ever sat around a campfire with your friends?

If you have, you’ll remember that for hours afterwards, whenever you close your eyes, you still see images of fire in front of you.

You can experience the same in other circumstances too. It happens to me when I play draughts a lot, or train parkour, or really anything. And it happens to you too.

Your subconscious mind simply starts thinking over thousands of possible scenarios, and learning for the future. It’s one of the reasons why when you stop training one day, and then come back 24 hours later, you’ll be much better than when you stopped the day before. (another reason is post-practice improvement.)

But this mechanism needs some time to kick in. It needs a certain degree of obsessed-ness.

If I played draughts for 20 minutes, and then went on to do something else, my subconscious would never think about them again. I need at least an hour or two of intense focus to kick-start the subconscious possibility-analyzing-mechanism.

Then again, you’ve probably heard of inventors coming up with brilliant inventions in their sleep (like Mendeleev and the periodic table). That’s what happens when you intensely focus on a single thing all-day long.

Which brings me to my point:

Why forget life balance

I’m a big fan of long-term life balance. But trying to keep every single day completely balanced will only hold you back. Because:

  1. Your amazing subconscious possibility-analyzing mechanism needs time to kick in
  2. Constantly switching between tasks costs you time needed to re-focus
  3. Balanced days get boring

So instead of trying to keep your days completely balanced, and spending time on each major area of your life daily… feel free to let short-term obsessions completely take you over. For days, or even weeks, you might spend every waking hour thinking about your new startup idea, or learning a new language, or anything.

In fact, you’d hardly achieve anything if you didn’t get obsessed from time to time.

And after those days or weeks, you’ll naturally get a bit tired of your momentary obsession, and turn to something else. Maybe another short-term obsession. And so the cycle continues…

Like an airplane flying towards its destination. 90% of the time it’s off course, but it’s constantly making adjustments, and moving towards its long term destination. And similarly, you can move towards your long-term goals by switching between fun and interesting short-term obsessions.

###

Exciting news about my blog:

You might have thought I’ve dropped off the face of the earth – after all, I haven’t posted to my blog in almost a month. Don’t worry, I’m back now, and with a lot of exciting news, which I’ll tell you in a second.

A large part of why I haven’t posted anything is because of the principle of obsessions I’ve just described. I was at two week-long meetups of esperanto speakers, and I decided to spend all that time fully in the moment, without online distractions. So I didn’t post to my blog, and only checked my e-mails every 4-5 days to answer the most urgent stuff.

I actually planned to write some posts in advance to post during those two weeks. But I got lazy. And then I lost another week to procrastination. Ya, I know, Vlad Dolezal facing procrastination. Crazy :p

But I’m back now. And for the exciting news…

  1. I’ll be switching to polyphasic sleep in mid-September. I’ll fully document my experiences right here on Fun Life Development.
  2. I’ve got another fun experiment going on. I should be done roughly 20 days from now. I’ll post more details when the experiment is finished.
  3. My first e-book for sale is coming together nicely (though slowly). I’m tentatively scheduling it for late November. It will be a complete guide to learning new skills (so not learning plain facts, but actually building skills). It will include material from my popular articles on that topic (like this one) as well as a crapton of new writing about principles I’ve never publicly shared before.
  4. And finally… I’ll be posting to my blog regularly (once or twice a week) again!

I’m Vlad Dolezal, and that’s all… for now.

{ 7 comments }