Stop Boring Conversations – Answering Questions Indirectly

How many times have you had one of those awkward small-talk conversations? Here’s a typical example of mine:

“So, what do you study?”
“Maths.”
“Ah… errr… I used to hate maths at school.”
“Uh huh.” [awkward silence] “So… what do you study?”
“Philosophy.”
“Ah… so… found the meaning of life yet?”
[forced smile] “Not yet.”
[more awkward silence]

All along we could both be esperanto-speaking jugglers who write a personal development blog, and we’d never find out.

Here’s something I found out – you don’t always need to answer questions directly. It all depends on the question…

The 2 Types of Questions

For simplicity’s sake, there are 2 main types of questions you will get asked:

1. Genuinely want to know the answer

You’d think that if your conversation buddy really wants to know the answer, you should answer. And often that’s the case.

But sometimes, you’re better off answering a different question…

I got this concept from one copywriter. (someone who writes those long sales pages online). Here’s roughly what he said:

I was approached by a guy asking how much I charge for a sales page. Now, I know exactly where that question leads to. You tell him your regular rate, he thanks you, and then he’s off to ask the next copywriter. Just browsing for price. He’ll end up getting one of the cheapest, and get exactly what he’s paying for.

But after that happened several times, I found out how to handle that question. *Don’t answer it.* Instead, start asking them for more details on exactly what they need.

Because you know what? They don’t really want to know how much you charge. They’re only asking that because it’s the only thing they can think of asking. They want to appear knowledgeable, but they don’t know any other questions to ask. Hey, they’re not copywriters, they don’t much about the industry.

So instead of answering the price question, start steering them in the right direction. Find out what type of product they’re selling, what their customer base is, how much traffic they’re getting. Those will all lead them to find exactly the right copywriter to look for.

And, as a bonus, by asking all those questions, you’ve now established value as an expert. If you find they’re a good fit for you, you now have a good chance of getting paid your quote, even if it’s higher than what they were expecting to pay.

And if you find they’re not a good fit, just pass them along to someone you think will fit well with them. A win for everybody involved.

Did you catch the main point?

This happens especially when you’re the expert on something, and they aren’t.

2. Just want to talk to you

Then there’s the small-talk type of questions. The other person just wants to talk to you, they don’t really care that much what your job is or where you grew up. Those are just ways to find common interests to talk about.

I’ll be honest. I’m still experimenting with this one. Sometimes I answer directly. Sometimes I tell people who ask me what I study that they’re asking the wrong question – what I study won’t tell them much about me. Sometimes I instead ask them what’s their mission in life. That usually leads to interesting conversations.

Also, if you have any good ways to deal with boring small-talk questions, please let me know!

And that’s all for today. Remember – just because someone asks you a question, it doesn’t mean you should answer it directly.

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Quick update – How to Be Rich and Happy now only $47:

A few days back, I posted a review of Tim Brownson’s book How to Be Rich and Happy. A few of you did a double-take at the hefty price tag of $97. While I believe the book is worth that, some people just can’t wrap the mind around the concept. As Tim summed it up:

We’re not just trying to sell a book, we’re trying to sell the concept of paying $97 for an e-book first and that makes it twice as hard.

So Tim decided to drop the price to $47. If you bought the book at the original price, don’t worry, Tim will personally refund you the difference. And if you got turned off by the high price, you might want to give it another thought. The 365-day money back guarantee of course still holds.