Comments on: Stop Boring Conversations – Answering Questions Indirectly http://vladdolezal.com/blog/2009/stop-boring-conversations-answering-questions-indirectly/ Making personal development fun Sat, 13 Mar 2010 11:05:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: How to Get People Excited About What You Have to Say | Fun Life Development http://vladdolezal.com/blog/2009/stop-boring-conversations-answering-questions-indirectly/comment-page-1/#comment-1905 How to Get People Excited About What You Have to Say | Fun Life Development Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:02:24 +0000 http://vladdolezal.com/blog/?p=847#comment-1905 [...] a good angle. In fact, this whole article was inspired by Benny’s comment on my article on how to stop boring conversations: (…) Instead of lying or avoiding the question I exaggerate the answer. I dont say I’m [...] [...] a good angle. In fact, this whole article was inspired by Benny’s comment on my article on how to stop boring conversations: (…) Instead of lying or avoiding the question I exaggerate the answer. I dont say I’m [...]

]]> By: Vlad Dolezal http://vladdolezal.com/blog/2009/stop-boring-conversations-answering-questions-indirectly/comment-page-1/#comment-1904 Vlad Dolezal Sat, 17 Oct 2009 16:24:19 +0000 http://vladdolezal.com/blog/?p=847#comment-1904 @Rut: Based on Benny's suggestion, maybe you could say something like... "What do I study? I study a subject that's absolutely fundamental to understanding modern western culture!" ;) @Sheila: Nice example :) I remember hearing something similar from Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert. Real dialogues, at least between friends, aren't a question-response-question pattern. It's more like, both people talking, and sometimes each person is going on about their own thing momentarily almost ignoring the other person - it makes for surprisingly realistic dialogue. @Rut:

Based on Benny’s suggestion, maybe you could say something like…

“What do I study? I study a subject that’s absolutely fundamental to understanding modern western culture!” ;)

@Sheila:

Nice example :)

I remember hearing something similar from Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert. Real dialogues, at least between friends, aren’t a question-response-question pattern. It’s more like, both people talking, and sometimes each person is going on about their own thing momentarily almost ignoring the other person – it makes for surprisingly realistic dialogue.

]]> By: Sheila http://vladdolezal.com/blog/2009/stop-boring-conversations-answering-questions-indirectly/comment-page-1/#comment-1903 Sheila Sat, 17 Oct 2009 11:47:29 +0000 http://vladdolezal.com/blog/?p=847#comment-1903 I've seen exactly that advice for writing fictional dialogue. It's much more interesting when it skitters off sideways. Compare: "You're the most beautiful woman here." "Why thank you." with: "You're the most beautiful woman here." "I'd like you to meet my husband." So yeah, not exactly answering the question is likely to be more interesting in real life, too. Of course, it also helps if you ask open questions, instead of ones that naturally have one word answers. I’ve seen exactly that advice for writing fictional dialogue. It’s much more interesting when it skitters off sideways.

Compare:
“You’re the most beautiful woman here.”
“Why thank you.”
with:
“You’re the most beautiful woman here.”
“I’d like you to meet my husband.”

So yeah, not exactly answering the question is likely to be more interesting in real life, too. Of course, it also helps if you ask open questions, instead of ones that naturally have one word answers.

]]> By: Rut http://vladdolezal.com/blog/2009/stop-boring-conversations-answering-questions-indirectly/comment-page-1/#comment-1902 Rut Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:09:22 +0000 http://vladdolezal.com/blog/?p=847#comment-1902 I'm Spanish and I was studying English in the Uni. meeting people the dialogue was quite similar or "English? Can you say something in Engligh now?" I’m Spanish and I was studying English in the Uni. meeting people the dialogue was quite similar or “English? Can you say something in Engligh now?”

]]> By: Vlad Dolezal http://vladdolezal.com/blog/2009/stop-boring-conversations-answering-questions-indirectly/comment-page-1/#comment-1901 Vlad Dolezal Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:54:31 +0000 http://vladdolezal.com/blog/?p=847#comment-1901 @Anon: Glad you like it! @Benny: Ah, man, awesome, totally awesome! :D You got me thinking of ways to spin maths to make it sound more exciting than lion taming. I'm not quite there yet, but my subconscious is on it ;) @Brian: Exactly! Conversation is not about the exchange of information, it's about the exchange of emotions. @Anon:

Glad you like it!

@Benny:

Ah, man, awesome, totally awesome! :D

You got me thinking of ways to spin maths to make it sound more exciting than lion taming. I’m not quite there yet, but my subconscious is on it ;)

@Brian:

Exactly! Conversation is not about the exchange of information, it’s about the exchange of emotions.

]]> By: Brian Burtt http://vladdolezal.com/blog/2009/stop-boring-conversations-answering-questions-indirectly/comment-page-1/#comment-1900 Brian Burtt Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:33:07 +0000 http://vladdolezal.com/blog/?p=847#comment-1900 Something that it took me a long time to learn, and a realization that I'm still working on putting into practice: in most circumstances, conversation is *not* intended as an efficient exchange of information. It's basically a noisy form of mutual grooming. But in that there lies the opportunity to turn it into art. Something that it took me a long time to learn, and a realization that I’m still working on putting into practice: in most circumstances, conversation is *not* intended as an efficient exchange of information. It’s basically a noisy form of mutual grooming. But in that there lies the opportunity to turn it into art.

]]> By: Benny the Irish polyglot http://vladdolezal.com/blog/2009/stop-boring-conversations-answering-questions-indirectly/comment-page-1/#comment-1899 Benny the Irish polyglot Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:24:13 +0000 http://vladdolezal.com/blog/?p=847#comment-1899 Good post - I also tend to avoid simple one word answers whenever possible. Pisses off people who actually want boring conversations :P Instead of lying or avoiding the question I exaggerate the answer. I don't say I'm a translator; I say that I bridge gaps between cultures - sounds pompous, but technically it's true. Instead of "Maths" you can say that you study <i>the rules of the universe and the greatest achievement of mankind</i>. You could say how passionate you are about particular specialities (e.g. how statistics comes up in such obscure and interesting parts of life etc.) and not use the word "Maths", which they would associate with their boring secondary school teacher. I used to be a Maths teacher and always introduced my job with such drama that you'd swear I was a lion tamer... Good post – I also tend to avoid simple one word answers whenever possible. Pisses off people who actually want boring conversations :P Instead of lying or avoiding the question I exaggerate the answer. I don’t say I’m a translator; I say that I bridge gaps between cultures – sounds pompous, but technically it’s true.
Instead of “Maths” you can say that you study the rules of the universe and the greatest achievement of mankind. You could say how passionate you are about particular specialities (e.g. how statistics comes up in such obscure and interesting parts of life etc.) and not use the word “Maths”, which they would associate with their boring secondary school teacher. I used to be a Maths teacher and always introduced my job with such drama that you’d swear I was a lion tamer…

]]> By: Anonymous http://vladdolezal.com/blog/2009/stop-boring-conversations-answering-questions-indirectly/comment-page-1/#comment-1898 Anonymous Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:44:26 +0000 http://vladdolezal.com/blog/?p=847#comment-1898 hey...that's a nice post there....really I was so fed up of these online conversations so I googled it and luckily stumbled on your blog...good one..... hey…that’s a nice post there….really I was so fed up of these online conversations so I googled it and luckily stumbled on your blog…good one…..

]]> By: Chris Moran http://vladdolezal.com/blog/2009/stop-boring-conversations-answering-questions-indirectly/comment-page-1/#comment-1897 Chris Moran Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:09:23 +0000 http://vladdolezal.com/blog/?p=847#comment-1897 Nice writing style. Looking forward to reading more from you. Chris Moran Nice writing style. Looking forward to reading more from you.

Chris Moran

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