Look at the kid, shouting he hates tomatoes! Even though he’s never tried them…
Kids have a reason to be picky about food. Unless they’ve been introduced to a food early on, they’ll avoid it until they get old enough to make their own decisions about food. It’s a survival trait.
But adults behaving the same way? Uh-oh. And I’m not talking about food, either. Too many adults claim they can’t do something, even if they’ve never tried it!
Learning takes practice
Think back to when you had your first child (if you haven’t yet, just imagine it). When they were first learning to walk, and fell over, what was your reaction? Did you have a good laugh about it, and tell them to keep trying?
Or did you say: “Oh well Johnny, I guess you’ll never be a walker. I don’t think you’ll ever get the hang of this.”
Well… duh!
And yet adults treat themselves the second way again and again! They try something once or twice, and then conclude they can’t do it, and will never be able to.
If you haven’t learned something yet, that can only mean one of two things:
- you haven’t put in enough time
- you’re using wrong learning methods
And don’t go around telling me about your “natural limitations” or “inherent lack of talent”. Unless you’re a professional athlete or a world-class chess player, you’re going to quit LONG before reaching any kind of natural talent barrier!
And if you don’t want to learn because you’re afraid you’ll look dumb… don’t worry. No one cares how bad you are the first time you start learning something.
No one cares how much you shake and stutter the first time you try public speaking.
No one cares how much you fall when you’re first learning to ski.
Most people are either too busy thinking of themselves… or very kind and supportive! When you start learning something, you warm other people’s hearts by reminding them of their own humble beginnings. They’ll be more than happy to give you tips and encouragement.
If you don’t WANT to learn something because you … well… don’t want to, that’s fine. Just make sure it’s really your wants that are guiding you, not your fears.
Ask yourself:
What is more important? Your fears, or your desires?
And then live your life unrestricted.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
thank you for this
First post on my blog was “Your mistakes are your wealth or what I learn from chess players and babies” also contains chess players and babies. It contain little different perspective about mistakes and persistence.
One nice comment I read on that subject: “What do you suppose Michaelangelo’s first drawings looked like?” Of course his first drawing would probably be when he was a small child, and I bet he used to draw Mummy’s feet sideways on, just like every other kid (me included).
Another nice one was to go from “I don’t know how to do that,” to “I don’t know how to do that yet.”
@Anon:
You’re welcome.
@Dalibor:
I like the way you put that
. “Also contains chess players and babies”. Ya, babies are the most persistent peeps out there… probably because they can’t read yet, so they can’t just go “Oh well, I’ll just go waste time online instead of bothering to learn to walk.”
@Sheila:
Michelangelo’s first drawing ever? That would be worth an absolute FORTUNE today!
Ya, you’re totally right though. Nice examples of reframing