Mal Dickson, a rock-climbing instructor from Devon, UK, has an interesting way of testing applicants for his advanced rock-climbing class.
He has them climb a mountain where, about two thirds of the way up, there’s an overhang. From below, it looks like the top of the mountain, but once you climb over it, you see a big chunk of the mountain still towering over you.
And Mal’s way of testing applicants is simply hiding behind a rock at the overhang and watching the climbers’ expression when they scale the overhang.
Many applicants look disappointed or annoyed that they’re not at the top yet. Mal politely declines these people the entry to his advanced class.
But some applicants… when they scale the overhang and see the mountain looming over them, their eyes light up with excitement at the prospect of more climbing!
Mal welcomes these applicants with open arms.
You will never become an advanced rock-climber if you’re only doing it to reach the top and hate the climbing itself. Real rock-climbers love climbing. A mountain top is merely a goal that makes their climbing challenging and worthwhile.
How to live a dynamic fulfilling life
Similarly, too many people hang their happiness on achieving things in life. Having a bigger car. A good job. Bigger salary. An attractive partner.
That’s like a rock-climber who only aims to get to the top of a mountain. Inevitably, when they get there, they find out it’s not exactly what they wanted. They soon feel bored and start looking for another mountain to climb, hoping that that mountain will maybe finally hold the key to their happiness.
Happy, content people understand it’s not about reaching the goal.
They set goals and aim for them. But they understand that the real excitement of life lies in working towards a goal. When you work towards something greater than yourself, whether it’s starting a company, doing charity work or climbing a mountain – that’s when you feel really alive.
The goal is just there to give you guidance and challenge you. A person without goals is like a rock-climber without mountains. Bored.
But focusing on the goals and hating the process is just as bad.
Two big mistakes people make are either focusing on goals only and hating the process, or trying to find happiness in some static being-in-the-moment way, without having any goals to challenge and inspire them.
Rock-climbers don’t climb mountain after mountain because they’re looking for the ultimate mountain peak that will make them say “That’s it, I’ve had enough climbing. I can stay here and live happily ever after.”
They climb mountain after mountain because they love the process of climbing. The mountains challenge them and make them feel alive.
Seek out the challenges that inspire you and motivate you. Don’t let others convince you that you should be happy in some static position – whether it’s a job, a relationship, or a place to live.
Sure, you can have many happy static things (like a great relationship) and still feel alive. But there will be some difficulties and challenges you seek out that make you feel alive.
Because that’s what a fulfilling life is all about.
(image courtesy of groundzero)
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Vlad, great piece – and very memorable story, that one’s going to stick with me!
I’m completely with you on this one … for quite a few years I’ve reached towards a state of happiness when things are *completed* (e.g. working just for the money, studying for particular qualifications) but now I actually enjoy heading towards my goals (I’m writing a novel and a blog because I love writing, not because I want some “finished” product!), I’m much happier…
.-= Ali Hale´s last blog ..What Does Success Mean For You? =-.
@Ali:
Exactly! Maybe we should start a secret society, complete with member badges and a secret handshake
Hey Vlad,
Count me in! I like member badges and secret handshakes! And if we could have some kind of Batman type belt that would be cool too
This is something I really struggle with, I’ve always been very achievement oriented and driven, but especially as I get *close* to achieving my goal, it really becomes all about getting to the top of the mountain for me – rather than enjoying the scenery and the process. The anticipation!
* Disclaimer: Batman belt not pre-requisit for me to join secret society
.-= Sid Savara´s last blog ..Conversation Hacking – How To Make Small Talk Work For You =-.
Alright, Sid, you’re in! You get the badges, I’ll come up with a handshake.
And Ali… when we’re a super-powerful organization taking over the world, you can write a best-selling semi-fictional novel about us
Vlad, this is really what I needed today. Just knowing other people are in this for the process, and not the goal, is gratifying. Lately I’ve adopted the mantra to love the process, and though I’m struggling to believe that everyday, I’m taking small steps to live a fulfilling and dynamic life. Two weeks ago I decided to quit my part-time job of 2 1/2 years to feel again. I couldn’t feel alive or useful during work. Though this may have been a stupid thing to do, my personality just couldn’t accept that (I like to read into my Myers-Briggs results often). Though I’ll be jobless and living off loans next quarter, I know I’ll be okay by budgeting. I have room to breathe!
Can I learn that secret society handshake too?
.-= Alie´s last blog ..On switching antidepressant medication from fluoxetine to buPROPion HCl =-.
A very good post. Okay, screw that, an excellent post. I just started learning a challenging guitar solo last night after meeting up with my first guitar teacher, who I hadn’t talked to in probably two years. After jamming and talking with him for a half hour, I found that I hadn’t been challenging myself as much as I would have liked to. Specifically, I do a lot of improvising and writing, and I challenge myself immensely in those fields, but when it comes to learning a song I’ve been listening to from some awesome musician like Steve Vai, I just look at it, learn a couple of the cool bits, and never come back to it even when I know I should.
Well, during that jam yesterday, I told my former instructor that I felt I wasn’t actually all that good a guitarist because while I write a lot and make up a lot of cool things on my own, I don’t persevere to learn solos and tricky things from songs I hear from bands I respect. His response? “Join the club, man.” He said unless I was going to play it for someone, there was no way a musician like myself was going to keep sufficiently motivated to learn a difficult or even less than difficult piece of music.
Well, I figured I’d challenge myself and become a better musician, possibly even a better-than-the-average musician, and would learn a song for the challenge of learning it, even though I won’t be performing it for anyone.
Climbing this mountain has been pretty cool so far!
.-= Clyde Machine´s last blog ..The Playlist ISN’T The New Album. =-.
@Alie:
I’m terribly sorry, but the secret society is now full.
But don’t worry! In a few weeks, we’ll be opening up a course where you can learn our secret handshake in the comfort of your own home for the LOW LOW PRICE of $99.95, or three easy installments of $39.95. And if you order today, you will get…
*ahem* *ahem*
Got a bit carried away there. What was I going to say?
Oh yea. Sounds awesome that you’re finally moving towards the life you really want to live! Keep it up and you’ll be there sooner than you think
@Clyde:
Awesome story, man!
Mountains become awesome once you forget the peak and enjoy the climbing, eh?
The most precious gift you can give anyone is love-it’s freedom, respect, devotion, and caring. Living your life day to day and feeling trapped is the most painful thing. You have the power to release yourself from that trap. No one else can do it for you. Enjoying life and continuing to seek new challenges is how we show appreciation for the life we’re given. Fill your life with things you will enjoy, then go and do them! Give people around you love and they too will find the strength inside themselves. Let love lead the way!
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