This is the first part of a series of posts explaining the most powerful model I use with my life coaching clients. Read The GROW Model – Introduction to find out what it’s all about.
The first step to escaping mediocrity and living the life you really want is… getting clear about what you want!
Which is exactly what we will cover here today.
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This post will help you orders of magnitude more if you follow along with the exercises included. So, before we get started, let’s make sure you keep an area of your life in mind as you read along. An area of your life in mind where you are doing okay, but not great. (Maybe a 6 or 7 out of 10).
Here are some areas of life you might consider:
- career
- relationships
- health
- fitness
- life balance
- relaxation
- fun/social
Go ahead, give it a few minutes of thought, and decide on an area of your life you want to start improving right now! (It doesn’t have to be one of the above)
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Okay, I will assume you now have an area of your life in mind where you are doing “okay, but not great”!
I will use the example of life coaching, because I was just applying the GROW model on that area of my life recently. I’m hoping a real life example will give you a better idea of what I’m talking about 
Figuring out your Goal (i.e., the ideal situation)
Okay, first step!
Just start daydreaming, and imagine what the ideal situation would be, in the long-term (many years from now).
In my life area of Life Coaching, that would be having plenty of high paying clients to fulfill my material needs, and free me up to spend my time helping people who really need it but can’t afford a life coach, helping tens of thousands people for free through my blog, going around cities giving talks on personal development topics, helping people get the most out of their lives. Maybe even being part of a life coaching training organisation.
Go ahead, daydream about how your chosen part of your life would ideally look, if you could do anything you wanted…
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Feels exciting? 
Now let’s pull a bit closer to the present. Pick a medium-term future. Say, somewhere between 3 months and 1 years from now.
Imagine how you would like your ideal situation to be then. In my case of Life Coaching, my big middle-term goal is to have enough clients to handle all my material needs and free up the rest of my time to help people through my blog, and have fun.
Go ahead, think about your specific middle-term goal.
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Once you have it, start imagining it in great detail. How you would feel when you wake up in the morning. What you would do during the day. The people you would meet. The things you would say to yourself.
This helps you with two things. Firstly, it gets you excited and motivated, by the Pain And Pleasure Principle. And secondly, the more specific you get, the better your chances of making it happen…
Get very specific about what you want
One big difference between a dream and a goal is being specific about what you want.
A dream is a vague fuzzy thing you like to think about to make yourself happy. A goal is a specific prospect, and by gosh, you’re going to make it happen!
One word of warning – for now, don’t worry about how you will achieve your goal. That comes is steps #3 Options, and #4 Way forward. In this step, we simply figure out what it is you want! (There’s a reason this solid structure works. Trust me.)
For now, just eliminate any vagueness and make it specific. Exactly when is your “middle-term” goal? How will you know when you have achieved it? Also eliminate any vague words.
In my case of Life Coaching, I decided to set a deadline roughly a year from now. Or, specifically, by the end of June 2011. I also figured out how much I want to be earning to satisfy my material needs, and translated that to how many new clients I would need to be getting. (Life coaching works very quickly and effectively, so there’s very little “sustained business”. That’s why I need a flow of fresh clients.)
So, in my case, the goal is to be getting an average of 2 new clients per week, by the end of June 2011. Still no worrying about how to accomplish that.
Recap your goal, and make sure to get rid of any vagueness. You can even talk to a friend about it, and let them help you, if you want. (With my life coaching clients, they always have me listening intently to their every word, and I help them catch any vagueness or uncertainty that would sabotage their attempts.)
Go ahead. Think about it.
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Okay, you should now have a clear goal, with a clear deadline, and specifics. You should have a clear way of knowing when you have achieved it.
Grab a pen and a piece of paper, and write it down!
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That’s all for this step. In the next step, GROW #2 – Reality, we will tackle comparing your ideal situation to your current one, and exactly what you need to bridge the gap.
Next part: GROW #2 – Reality
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Outstanding read man. Good actionable stuff that resonates with me right now with where I find my mindset.
I like how you “bring it home” so it’s not just a warm fuzzy gooey possibility.
Looking forward to the rest of the series!
Tony Teegarden´s last post ..3 Keys To Creating A Self Development Plan That Doesn’t Suck
@Tony:
Yeah, that’s the whole point. Taking vague dreams, and making them a reality!
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