Imagine James Bond. Do you ever see him muttering under his breath “I am happy, confident, and attractive.”?
No. Because he already IS all those things.
Now take a few seconds to picture someone who’s saying those affirmations to themselves.
What kind of person do you see? Someone who’s not very confident? Not that happy? Not very attractive?
Right. Because the only people saying such affirmations are those who AREN’T feeling very confident and attractive. They’re trying to talk themselves into believing those things. As Robert M. Pirsig says:
You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it’s going to rise tomorrow.
When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths, or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it’s always because the dogmas or goals are in doubt.
Funnily enough, affirmations can have the exact OPPOSITE effect than what you want. It’s all because…
Action creates beliefs
In my post on developing abundance mentality, I explain how the Chinese managed to convert an unprecedented number of American prisoners to communism by changing their beliefs. And they did it by simply getting the Americans to take little pro-communist actions, until they could no longer take the disparity between their actions and their thoughts.
If you act enough as if you were something, you will become that way.
But here’s the funny thing: What kind of person tries to talk themselves into feeling confident? That’s right – an unconfident person! By using affirmations, you will do things that an only an unconfident person does.
Enough of that, and you will BECOME unconfident, even if you weren’t before! Way to go, Dr. Watson.
Thankfully, there’s a solution…
Stop talking, start taking action
Instead of talking yourself into feeling confident (which only an unconfident person would do), figure out what kind of actions a confident person would take.
Then take them.
Then you’ll leverage the same principle for your benefit! After taking enough action that a confident person would do, your brain will say “Hang on a second, I’ve been taking all this confident action… I can’t be an unconfident person!” – And BAM! You will become a confident person.
Sure, taking action is tough. At times you’ll feel scared. Some actions you won’t even be able to take until you develop some confidence.
But that’s how real progress works. It takes some discomfort and pushing your comfort zones. Affirmations feel like a feel-good what-you-want-to-hear solution to me. As if you can develop all the positive character traits without facing any discomfort.
Is this the ultimate truth? I don’t know.
All I know is that taking action definitely works for me. And affirmations didn’t.
So try it yourself, and see what happens!
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Update on 90 Day Free Hugs Challenge:
The free hugs challenge started yesterday! From now until 28th September, you have a much easier time to take action and go giving out free hugs. So if you’re at all interested in giving out free hugs check out the 90 Day Free Hugs Challenge.
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